Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 217
 Stop enabling: Teach responsibility with love and logic March 15, 2000
83 out of 93 found this review helpful
This book provides sound parenting philosophy and easy to use guidelines to apply it. As a teacher, it is clear to me which students have been raised with loving and logical parents. So many parents confuse love with protection. Parenting with love and logic means allowing your kids to make choices ... and sometimes mistakes. Some may object to the "Basic German Shepard" tactics or the idea that claims that spanking is sometimes alright. Use what you wish from the book. I have never spanked my child, nor do I order him around like a dog. To avoid a power struggle with my son who didn't want to put on his clothes or coat for a 5 minute ride home from my sister's house, I used Love and Logic principles. On a cold January evening in Michigan I carried him to the car in his underwear. Moments later, he said, "I'm cold." I simply kept driving and said, ... Perhaps next time you will make a different choice?" A natural instinct would be to cover him up and protect him from the cold. He was not injured in any way. By sticking to the principle, however, he learned two very important lessons: 1) mom is not kidding around, and 2) it's smart to wear your clothes and a coat. Since that evening, we have not struggled to get dressed. Try it!
Humane and realistic parenting with lots of love! July 7, 1998
64 out of 73 found this review helpful
I have been reading parenting books for years. I read this book completely. As the adult child of an alcohol and drug councilor with 3 young children, I have taken great interest in therapy and communication techniques. I don't generally offer my opinion in reviews but I felt that this book should receive the credit that it is due. The focus of this book is to help your child to eventually become an unusually functional and mentally healthy adult. It makes a humorous, but truthful analogy of the learning patterns of very young (2 and under) children to that of dogs. It explains why, unlike a dog, children must begin to think for themselves and how to help them do that. It recognizes that some parents use corporal punishment, explains why this is sometimes effective and how to use it to the least detriment of the child, but over all discourages it and offers alternative methods of discipline. The book teaches how parents can assist instead of disrupting the child's natural process of learning. Permit a child the consequences of their own mistakes when they are young and they will learn not to make big, life changing mistakes when they are adults. Become a friend and respected confidant to your child whose opinion he respects. There are excellent, real life accounts of how to apply the techniques. Most teachers will recognize the authors names. The authors are well known and highly acclaimed in the educational field and have raised responsible, successful children themselves.
A year and counting January 22, 2000
31 out of 34 found this review helpful
A year after our introduction to Love and Logic, my husband and I are firm believers. But I didn't start out that way. It seemed too easy, and at times, too harsh. I was reluctant to try what seemed to be pat answers to vexing parental challenges. But, after putting the principles into practice for a very short time, a little bit at a time, we saw an amazing improvement in our 6 year old son's behavior and self-esteem. Letting him experience the consequences of his actions while offering much love and empathy was a much better teacher than our lectures, tirades and punishments ever were. I would also suggest that parents of toddlers listen to the Cline/Fay tape: Toddlers, which applies the Love and Logic principles to that age group, and Parenting Teens with Love and Logic.
Many Workable Solutions for Raising Good Kids August 29, 2003
39 out of 45 found this review helpful
Jim Fay believes that we must teach our children HOW to think, not just WHAT to think. I am a very "over-protective mom" and reading his book has encouraged me to stop making so many choices for my children. I am now better able to allow my child to fail and take ownership of the consequence that follows his actions without feeling so much guilt myself. Kids can definitely learn from their mistakes without losing their self-esteem. Although I do not agree nor use every strategy in this book (like "The German Shepard Technique"), I feel the Love and Logic philosophy has contributed positive change in the way we communicate with our children as well as to the degree of compliance we get from them. We like this book because there are many specific suggestions in the real life annecdotes demonstrating the exact words to try. We also recommend another book with quick-read suggestions for parents of 2, 3, 4, and 5-year-olds called 'The Pocket Parent.' This book is not written in paragraphs, but rather hundreds of short bullets of practical information. The philosophies of both authors are very similar--offering many sanity saving alternatives to yelling, bribing, threatening, critizing, and nagging that we often resort to at our wits' end.. Both books are helpful, humorous and worth keeping handy for when you need some quick advice or just some empathy on one of those really bad days when you think you are about to lose your mind!
Don't be afraid to use it! September 24, 2000
Glenda Bennett (Grand Junction, CO)
20 out of 24 found this review helpful
I enjoyed the book greatly. It's philosophy has helped me raise 5 children. The hardest part is follow through. It's okay if your child has to go hungry, be cold, or do without a special trip, because he or she has made a wrong choice. These "safe" wrong choices, help them make better choices later on in life with those choices which will alter their lives. Don't let society impose their "Oh, this poor child" values on you. Know that letting them make some unfortunate choices now, will prepeare them later to make better choices. Don't give in to well meaning counselors, social workers and teachers who "feel badly" that your child isn't eating lunch today, or isn't getting to go on field trip. You are able to say, "gee.... he or she made that choice, now please support me in seeing that he or she has to live with the consequences of those choices". Use it! Do it! My 20 year old son told me recently, "Mom thank you for making me see that every action has a consequence. Now, I have good credit and don't mooch off my friends, like many kids my age, because you made me be responsible. I didn't like it then, BUT YOU WERE RIGHT". That made me feel really great that I did USE IT! I didn't "make him be responsible", I helped him make choices that taught responsibility.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 217
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