Don't Divorce Your Children : Protecting Their Rights and Your Happiness

• Look at your divorce through your child's eyes
• Listen to your child's point of view
• Learn to create solutions that really work--together!

As a step-mother, this has been a very helpful guide to me when confronted with the negativity and unhappiness of my husband's ex-wife and how her manipulative behaviors effect the children and add stress to the transition between her home and ours. It helps me to be supportive of the children and of my husband at the same time.

The book is filled with wise insights, comfort, and good counsel. It has been a lifesavor through the journey as the children have grown older and established their own identities. While their parents have been divorced for 8 years and the children are now young teens, each stage has taken on a new nuance, and this book has helped my husband and me to maintain a sense of humor and connectedness as a family.

It sometimes takes a lot of emotional energy on the part of parents and children to work through these solutions, and this guide has given us permission to remain firm in being actively involved in the children's lives (even if their mother wishes we would move to another planet.)

A consistent and helpful approach is provided no matter what age your children are or whether your divorce is new or long-standing. This is a book worth buying and reading again and again as you encounter new and different situations.


Empowering both parents and children   March 5, 2001
2 out of 2 found this review helpful

Children don't share our perspectives. Developmentally they have very different needs than the adults in their lives. Divorce can rock even the firmest foundation we have given them. This book gives parents the ablility to seek simple solutions from different perspectives. Answers that were easy, can get more complicated with divorce and it is refreshing to find solutions that use common sense, and place not winning or losing but succeeding as the goal, The authors, understand both children and parent needs, and the importance of building good relationships for all involved. I highly recommend this book, I have had opportunities to put the authors' guidelines to use and they work - for both parents and children, empowering all involved.


This book will change how you see your divorce!!   February 21, 2009
Alex Letterman (Los Angeles, CA)
This is an excellent book!. It is easy to understand and helps you to see your divorce through the eyes of your children in a way that few books can. I heard it said once before "when going through a divorce always remember to love your children more than you hate your ex" and this book reinforces that theory. Our children didn't ask for any of this and what we do will ultimately impact their happiness and joy for the rest of their lives. I no longer say anything negative about my ex if my children are in the room, in the house, or even down the street. It's just not worth the risk and I don't discuss any of our problems or complain if money is tight. When I talk of their dad it is always in a positive light and even if he doesn't do the same I don't care. I never want them to feel like any of this is their fault because children tend to blame divorce on themselves, something I thought was a myth until it happened to me. The question I ask myself constantly now is "will this decision or statement promote good will and is it fair" and if the answer is no I do not do it. Love this book!